Choosing Inner Peace

I was maniacally driving down the road when it struck me. . . There is no meaning of life, there is no place to get to, you are just where you are and where you are is perfect.

These thoughts hit me in the beginning of a crazy day.

It had started with my lovely wife choosing to let me sleep in, but on a day when I could ill afford the extra winks. She had gone on to work and I was rising up from deep dreams to the oh so familiar, "Mom, Dad, is it morning-time?" I glanced at the clock and it was 7:40. Sh#*, I was running late, I had to get my son dressed, fed, to school and me to work, in time to be at a video shoot by 9am. This is not good.

I frantically jumped out of bed running to my son Eli's room, tripping over his container of hot wheels and like a whirling dervish flew around his room grabbing underwear, pants, t-shirts, socks, and his oh so important Converse Hi-tops. My patience was at an all-time low and the looming deadline was driving me, making me short-tempered.

"Dad, these socks feel funny, I'm hungry, I want the Spiderman shirt."

Coming rapid fire his protests and assertions thwarted my every effort to make him go faster.

Isn't it funny our cute little bundles of love, our angels who could do no wrong, know exactly when we need them to pick up the pace, and at these times they occur to us as purposefully thwarting our every move?

I try to be a good person, to elevate my emotions and take the higher path yet I judge, evaluate, denigrate, instigate, and spend a lot of time not being who I say I am. I say I am a spiritual, considerate human being, but I catch myself cussing at people who seemingly cut me off. I lose my temper just because my son dare have an opinion on what t-shirt he wants to wear. I have no patience.

However, today I caught myself and shifted the mood to one of understanding. I allowed myself to let go, be late, lose my agenda and just go with the flow. When someone cut me off and I had to hit the brakes I just waved them onward understanding, knowing that that is what was supposed to be. Why allow it to alter my body chemistry, filling me with adrenaline as I yell or cuss inwardly.

As we drove toward school my son in the backseat, staring intently out the window at passing interests, looked so smart, so old, no longer the little baby I rocked and dipped only 4 years ago. He caught me looking at him in the rearview mirror and flashed me a warm smile. I smiled back and then said, "Buddy, I'm sorry I was so grumpy and impatient with you this morning." He looked straight at me and replied, "That's ok Dad, I wasn't being very good either." "Let's make a deal," I said, "If either of us is grumpy in the morning again, let's remind each other that there is no hurry and there's really nowhere to get to." He kind of looked at me with the kind of look only a 5 year old can produce. A little puzzled but all-knowing at the same time. "OK Dad, let's do that." Another round of warm smiles and on with our trip to school.

Today is the moment, the moment to appreciate, the moment to act. So give up the agenda, smile and realize that our place on earth is one to show love, patience and understanding but most of all love.

Finding Peace of Mind

THE PARABLE OF THE ROPE

We are like a person holding on to a piece of rope.

He holds on for dear life, knowing that if he were to let go he would fall to his death. His parents, his teachers, and many others have told him this is so; and when he looks around he can see everyone else doing the same.

Nothing would induce him to let go.

Along comes a wise person. She knows that holding on is unnecessary, that the security it offers is illusory, and only holds you where you are. So she looks for a way to dispel his illusions and help him to be free.

She talks of real security, of deeper joy, of true happiness, of peace of mind. She tells him that he can taste this if he will just release one fi
nger from the rope.

"One finger," thinks the man; "that"s not too much to risk for a taste of bliss." So he agrees to take this first initiation.

And he does taste greater joy, happiness, and peace of mind.

But not enough to bring lasting fulfillment.

"Even greater joy, happiness and peace can be yours," she tells him, "if you will just release a second finger."

"This," he tells himself, "is going to be more difficult. Can I do it? Will it be safe? Do I have the courage?" He hesitates, then, flexing his finger, feels how it would be to let go a little more . . . and takes the risk.

He is relieved to find he does not fall; instead he discovers greater happiness and inner peace.

But could more be possible?

"Trust me," she says. "Have I failed you so far? I know your fears, I know what your mind is telling you -- that this is crazy, that it goes against everything you have ever learnt -- but please, trust me. Look at me, am I not free? I promise you will be safe, and you will know even greater happiness and contentment."

"Do I really want happiness and inner peace so much," he wonders, "that I am prepared to risk all that I hold dear? In principle, yes; but can I be sure that I will be safe, that I will not fall?" With a little coaxing he begins to look at his fears, to consider their basis, and to explore what it is he really wants. Slowly he feels his fingers soften and relax. He knows he can do it. And he knows he must do it. It is only a matter of time until he releases his grip.

And as he does an even greater sense of peace flows through him.

He is now hanging by one finger. Reason tells him he should have fallen a finger or two ago, but he hasn"t. "Is there something wrong with holding on itself?" he asks himself. "Have I been wrong all the time?"

"This one is up to you," she says. "I can help you no further. Just remember that all your fears are groundless."

Trusting his quiet inner voice, he gradually releases the last finger.

And nothing happens.

He stays exactly where he is.

Then he realizes why. He has been standing on the ground all along.

And as he looks at the ground, knowing he need never hold on again, he finds true peace of mind.